Some think winning isn't everything it's the only thing. I also know many people who won't do anything if they can win. I watch my children struggle with the truth in life that winning doesn't happen all the time and there is disappointment.
I am a little different when it come to winning. Don't be confused I love to win and I have been guilty of thoughts and actions that are less than becoming. But if winning a prize was my only goal I wouldn't be anywhere near where I am today.
I spent a number of years as a child in Germany learning to love soccer.When I moved back to the U.S. in Anniston, Alabama ,1985 they didn't have girls soccer teams. They had soccer teams. I wanted to play and I knew it would mean playing on a boys team. I figured why not? try out. I did and I think half of them felt bad for me (being a girl and not a boy) and the other thought I might actually cut it. So I became the only female player on the Saks High School soccer team. I played my heart out and I tried to be the best I could be. I wasn't great but I was diligent. I loved the game and I loved (although I played very little) the lesson I began to learn about winning from within. Being the only girl on all guys teams makes being great- tough, not because I couldn't do the work but I was in a league with only two other girls and one was a goalie (need I say more?) I was targeted when put in games, when metal cleats were still allowed I suffered lots of cleat marks on the top of my feet as other players would step on top of my feet, wind around digging the cleats into the top of my foot. I suffered because my coach was afraid to put me in worried I would be injured. I watched in frustration many games thinking I should be in the game and learning later in life that just being on the team was a bold statement.
I am not afraid of losing a particular game or contest - No, my fear is much greater and that is - the will to try. I win within- I look at my experience and find what helps make me a better me and find victory there. I don't worry about the possible outcome and won't let fear keep me.
I compete this Saturday in a national competition. Many of the women I will compete against will surely have worked hard and done many of the things I have done. However, many have been competing for years and expect to win. Some have even gone past the normal limits in order to secure a win, a pro card with potential sponsorship deals and many will question their efforts. I however will take my two great friends head to KY with a itty bitty teeny winy bikini - a smile, a peace in my heart and the will to win from within.
I hope you will learn to win from within. Look at victory as something you hand yourself. Have the will to win but not be hindered by who calls you winner. I know I am winner and I define that differently every day. Teach your children that the only real losers are the ones who fail to try. ( but don't call them losers it's not good the self esteem :)
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
My LSAT score
No, I didn't take the LSAT but a very good friend of mine did and I was so impressed when she told me her story about applying to law school. She really wanted to go to law school and the LSAT is one thing that can decide if you get into law school. She also didn't want to just go to any law school she wanted to go to Columbia University in New York. She explained to me the process for applying was arduous and difficult. The LSAT, the entrance exam to law school, scores are a big determiner for getting into law school, so I asked Karen what her score on the LSAT was and would it be good enough to get into her school of choice? She said something next that I found so interesting "I don't know" was her response. She had no idea what her score was and applied to law school without ever opening her score. She sent the score still sealed in an envelope to Columbia confident she was among the best candidates for admission. She went on to tell me that her dream about going to law school would not be dashed by her score. She believed in her success so much so that she knew she would be accepted. She wrote in her essay to the admission board that she knew that her well rounded life experiences and GPA from college would leave a good impression and the test score good or bad would not hinder her dreams.
I am in the last month before my competition and my weight is heavier than I like it to be. In an effort to put on muscle I will in fact weigh more and I understand that but I liked weighing less. I know the facts and I know it's all good but it still can affect me so just like I tell you I have to focus on what's important. I decided to take the Karen approach to this competition and I am not weighing myself anymore. I know the work I am putting in and sticking to my diet is what it takes. I don't care what the scale will tell me -I feel good and I trust the process. It has been really liberating and I feel less stress. I know have to be honest about my effort and let that be my guide.
Although the TFT program requires you to weigh in weekly and send pictures I challenge you to think like Karen did- trust that your efforts will pay off. Trust the process and stick with the program. Realize your dream of losing weight and reaching your goal no matter what is in that sealed envelope. Don't let the test scores keep you from living your dreams and reaching your goals.
You can get to where you are going and hard work does pay off.
I am in the last month before my competition and my weight is heavier than I like it to be. In an effort to put on muscle I will in fact weigh more and I understand that but I liked weighing less. I know the facts and I know it's all good but it still can affect me so just like I tell you I have to focus on what's important. I decided to take the Karen approach to this competition and I am not weighing myself anymore. I know the work I am putting in and sticking to my diet is what it takes. I don't care what the scale will tell me -I feel good and I trust the process. It has been really liberating and I feel less stress. I know have to be honest about my effort and let that be my guide.
Although the TFT program requires you to weigh in weekly and send pictures I challenge you to think like Karen did- trust that your efforts will pay off. Trust the process and stick with the program. Realize your dream of losing weight and reaching your goal no matter what is in that sealed envelope. Don't let the test scores keep you from living your dreams and reaching your goals.
You can get to where you are going and hard work does pay off.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Gold Medal Moments
Continuing the Training vs. Trying conversation - I ask you to think about the Olympics. This past week watching all the events has been so exciting. I think of all the hard work they do to have one or two minutes of hopeful glory. I watch each coach hope that all their direction and hard work will help their athlete win. I know the feeling of watching someone you coach and the desire to see them win. I want you to win. I need you to win. The two reasons winning is important to me is- 1) I want you to have a gold medal moments. Many coaches become coaches because they started out as competitiors. They have been there, made mistakes, taken falls and even stared failure in the face. I think for many coaches it's also another way to keep the love and desire for success of the process alive. Knowing something that can help someone succeed is truly powerful and sharing it devine. I have had gold medal moments- the feeling inside that all the work I did paid off. The strong desire to cry or scream because I did something I never thought I could do. Those moments where people say things to you that make you feel like you can walk on air. Do you want to have Gold Medal moments?
The second reason winning is important to me is it changes what level you compete at and makes success more challenging. Challenging is what moves us to better and greater things. Many of the athletes won in their state and then nationally and now they compete in the Olympics. I doubt any of them said I think I will try and make it to the Olympics without the local or national competition. I think they all committed to the work and used each success as permission to dream bigger.
The most important thing to me about the success is having someone you trust coach you. I hope each of those athletes have chosen trainers and coaches they trust. The people who help them go to the next level. Hopefully in all our years of life (no matter how young) we have learned you get no where with out the help of others. I love what I do I say that over and over again each day not because I need to believe it but because I do, I really do. I hope many of you work with me because you know that but more important because you trust me. I wonder how many athletes train and wonder if the coach knows what they are doing? Do they just hire someone because they seem nice? Do you work hard for some one you don't trust? And if you haven't hired me then why not?
Because I want you to have gold medal moments I need you to trust the trainer, commit the training program and trust the process. Be an athlete who hired the best in hopes for the best! Follow the training plan and don't let the competition make you second guess. Second guessing is something we all do it's natural but what makes the difference is the people who stick to the training plan and see the results and the ones who use second guessing to give up. Have some gold medal moments.
*this blog was written by a trainer who loves what she does. Being a better writer would not best serve her skills which is training. Please read this blog with consideration for the writer who is a trainer and not a writer. (practice makes perfect) Forgive errors and read content for substance. Thank you.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
The Difference between training and trying!
This is important and I think it's important enough to spend a few blogs talking about the difference between training and trying and how, I hope, it can help you.
We all want to be successful and hope when we set a goal we will achieve it. However, often times we are simply "trying". For example, " I am going to try this new diet or this new workout plan." But when we "try" or say we are going to try we often don't have a plan and don't really have any expectation. 'Try" is defined as a test or an attempt and when it comes to changing your life and losing weight but who wants a take a test they have failed before? When you test yourself did you do your homework or study the facts prior to taking this test? We hear a lot about popular diets but a little like reading your horoscope will this really be good for everyone? Do you know what you need? What types of diets haven't worked? What are the success rates on this diet you choose? Would training be a better approach to success and if so training has a different approach. The winter Olympics are coming and many of those athletes have been training for many years. They have training plans and programs they follow to insure a higher level of success. Training requires looking at strengths and weaknesses and identifying which ones have a greater impact and training to overcome the weakness to be stronger and more successful.
Let's start there! Do you know your strengths and weaknesses as it applies to weight loss and living healthy?As a trainer I know people often dismiss their weight issues as simply not eating right and not exercising - I agree these are mitigating factors but have you tried to look at what it is that has kept you from succeeding? Have you tried to identify and map what happens between the beginning and the end? Over the next few weeks we will look at the steps to training and succeeding. This first one is to look at what hasn't worked and take those off the training plan. Don't just "try" and commit to changing your life begin training! Start by working on what hasn't worked and what has. Think about the cycle you have been in and change the training plan.
So take time to write about your strengths and weaknesses. Look at what works and make that training plan for yourself. Of course if you need help hire the Telephone fitness trainer and get there! Either way without a map you won't know when you get to where you are going.
We all want to be successful and hope when we set a goal we will achieve it. However, often times we are simply "trying". For example, " I am going to try this new diet or this new workout plan." But when we "try" or say we are going to try we often don't have a plan and don't really have any expectation. 'Try" is defined as a test or an attempt and when it comes to changing your life and losing weight but who wants a take a test they have failed before? When you test yourself did you do your homework or study the facts prior to taking this test? We hear a lot about popular diets but a little like reading your horoscope will this really be good for everyone? Do you know what you need? What types of diets haven't worked? What are the success rates on this diet you choose? Would training be a better approach to success and if so training has a different approach. The winter Olympics are coming and many of those athletes have been training for many years. They have training plans and programs they follow to insure a higher level of success. Training requires looking at strengths and weaknesses and identifying which ones have a greater impact and training to overcome the weakness to be stronger and more successful.
Let's start there! Do you know your strengths and weaknesses as it applies to weight loss and living healthy?As a trainer I know people often dismiss their weight issues as simply not eating right and not exercising - I agree these are mitigating factors but have you tried to look at what it is that has kept you from succeeding? Have you tried to identify and map what happens between the beginning and the end? Over the next few weeks we will look at the steps to training and succeeding. This first one is to look at what hasn't worked and take those off the training plan. Don't just "try" and commit to changing your life begin training! Start by working on what hasn't worked and what has. Think about the cycle you have been in and change the training plan.
So take time to write about your strengths and weaknesses. Look at what works and make that training plan for yourself. Of course if you need help hire the Telephone fitness trainer and get there! Either way without a map you won't know when you get to where you are going.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
What would you do if you knew?
I couldn't believe it, I stood in front of the counter with my mouth wide open in shock and wonder about what I was looking at in front of me. I think I know a lot about calories because of being a trainer and a body builder. I asses menus and give advice on food choices when eating out but I must admit until you see it you wouldn't believe it. King County, Washington is the county which hosts Seattle, WA. and a popular city for visitors from all over the world. This year they voted and passed a law that all fast food restaurants have to post the number of calories on menus. They list everything from individual items to value meals. I was standing in front of the McDonald's menu when I discovered this new program of "in your face,now make a healthy choice." I have included the picture and you can see it for yourself.
As I said earlier I know a lot about calories but I must admit I don't keep those numbers in my head I just know what I choose when I go to a certain restaurants. I was stunned and found that making a choice when faced with facts was much harder. I found this situation supports my feeling and belief that if you knew what kind of calories you were consuming you might make different choices. I went from one counter to the next finding very little to choose from and being fully awake with the idea that it was even more important than ever to be informed.
I made a wise choice for myself and my family but it wasn't easy. I am curious what would you do? How do you feel about this program and should it be something all fast food places should have to do? I am curious ... what would you do if you knew?
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Have a Defensive year!
In December of 1999 we all waited to see how the New Year would be celebrated. Many people waited in fear that all the computers would go down and perhaps mayhem would abound. My daughter was six months old and we were living in Dallas.I had planned a quiet home that night, for no other reason than being a new mother too tired to think about being out late. I remember hearing all the anticipation about what might happen and did wonder myself what could happen. At midnight, as January 1, 2000 came to pass nothing that had been predicted happened. In fact, I felt a little let down because nothing big had happened. The year came and went with nothing really eventful to report.
Fast forward and January 1, 2010 and I ask the question, "what if nothing changes?" Its been a tough economic year , the media reports to Americans that unemployment and foreclosures are at an all time high. What if this year isn't better? So many people have had a tough year and I know are glad the year is gone but how do you know what the year will be like if you wait for it to occur?
Are you planning a defensive year? The word defensive sounds strong and maybe even rough but the definition in football is to defend and protect your position. Are you ready to take this year on by defending and protecting your position? I hear people say "I can't wait to see what will happen this year" I say "don't wait to see, make it happen, and plan to see the year as you have hoped." I hope may of us can agree that each year we get better and experience gives us perspective to use as we grow. But are you looking for things to happen this year that you hoped to happen? Are you planning for your year in a way that anticipation is part of the defense? Are you going to spend this year tackling things you have avoided in the past? Would you be willing to take on life as if something or someone is trying to steal what you have worked so hard to hold on to? Jobs have been lost and many people you know may be experience a hardship we haven't seen in a long time. Are you planning your year in a way that even the bad stuff can be helpful?
I called a potential client who used her free call from the tft to ask questions about her fitness future. She had fallen during the last ice storm and broken her ankle. She had lost weight, been exercising regularly and was worried with her ankle she would lose ground and gain her weight back. She was a bit surprised when I told her this would be a great opportunity for her to work on food since exercise wouldn't be an option. Food is a major problem for people and weight loss is best achieved when food issues are under control. So I told her use this time to get really good at eating, not cheating and learning about calories then when she could go back to exercise it would be a bonus. Even though for many this break would be a bad thing, I think if you have the right defense when things happen to you they don't take away your position or your goals.
I hope this year you will live defensively. Plan for excellence and when you have something happened you haven't planned for be prepared to hold your ground.
Happy New Year Everyone.
Jolene
Fast forward and January 1, 2010 and I ask the question, "what if nothing changes?" Its been a tough economic year , the media reports to Americans that unemployment and foreclosures are at an all time high. What if this year isn't better? So many people have had a tough year and I know are glad the year is gone but how do you know what the year will be like if you wait for it to occur?
Are you planning a defensive year? The word defensive sounds strong and maybe even rough but the definition in football is to defend and protect your position. Are you ready to take this year on by defending and protecting your position? I hear people say "I can't wait to see what will happen this year" I say "don't wait to see, make it happen, and plan to see the year as you have hoped." I hope may of us can agree that each year we get better and experience gives us perspective to use as we grow. But are you looking for things to happen this year that you hoped to happen? Are you planning for your year in a way that anticipation is part of the defense? Are you going to spend this year tackling things you have avoided in the past? Would you be willing to take on life as if something or someone is trying to steal what you have worked so hard to hold on to? Jobs have been lost and many people you know may be experience a hardship we haven't seen in a long time. Are you planning your year in a way that even the bad stuff can be helpful?
I called a potential client who used her free call from the tft to ask questions about her fitness future. She had fallen during the last ice storm and broken her ankle. She had lost weight, been exercising regularly and was worried with her ankle she would lose ground and gain her weight back. She was a bit surprised when I told her this would be a great opportunity for her to work on food since exercise wouldn't be an option. Food is a major problem for people and weight loss is best achieved when food issues are under control. So I told her use this time to get really good at eating, not cheating and learning about calories then when she could go back to exercise it would be a bonus. Even though for many this break would be a bad thing, I think if you have the right defense when things happen to you they don't take away your position or your goals.
I hope this year you will live defensively. Plan for excellence and when you have something happened you haven't planned for be prepared to hold your ground.
Happy New Year Everyone.
Jolene
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Red nail polish and sweat pants
I have had such a great time with my family this Christmas but I must tell you it has been eventful. Christmas night we were all sitting around talking about the great gifts we received and how much fun we had, laughing and enjoying the evening. All of a sudden we smell the strong aroma of nail polish and panic overwhelmed us. My cousin's daughter is two years old and they have white carpet in the downstairs where the smell was coming from,knowing that the combination of a two year old and nail polish can be disaster we both jump up and run down stairs. My cousin and I see in the bathroom the very dark red nail polish on the counter with no top and begin a search and rescue for the top of that red nail polish. We begin yelling for the Lacy, the baby and going from room to room trying to find the smell and hopefully avert trouble. When we find the source of the smell my ten year old daughter with a look similar to that of a deer in headlights is sitting in one spot paralized by what I know now was fear. Her shoulders began to shake and the tears got bigger and bigger but still she said nothing. I pushed away the blanket covering the floor and to my horror discovered a large stain the size of a frisbie of red nail polish on white carpet. My cousin and his wife followed us into the room and also saw this large stain they have been through this before and like EMT's at the scene of an emergency they began working on the stain with a pink goo that came out of a white tub. My cousin went to get his carpet cleaner and began to mix up a potent and toxic mix to put on the stain. Together we all worked on this terrible stain.I hoped it would come out and that our Christmas present to his wife and family wouldn't have to be white carpet. Miracle beyond all miracles the stain came out of the carpet. Although my daughter was trying to help I know the fear of what would happen next and whether the stain came out made it hard for her to think beyond the moment. I tried really hard not to lose my mind but the embarrassment and fear of damage made it difficult. We decided, once the stain was out to give everyone time to calm down, and figure out what to do next. Punishment is my least favorite issue in parenting and in life for that matter.
I am glad the lesson my daughter will learn wasn't expensive. No lives lost, no real damage done and honestly a mistake anyone I know including myself might make. But I did feel that shame and fear make us do some interesting things in our lives. My daughter covered up something we were all bound to find and as I reflected on the incident I think -I hide things I think no one will know about and wonder what do you hide?
Most women lie about their weight. It's a fact, well known fact and when I started the TFT program I found that some people didn't want to take the pictures you need to take when starting the program-the most difficult one being the one when you are standing on the scale. The picture is defining you know where you are and you have two choices(maybe more but these are my favorites) hide it or deal with it. I couldn't help but think of the things that went through my daughter's head before the polish was discovered- " I can hide it, no one will know." "maybe if I blame it on some one else I will get away with it." or "what do I do now? I am in big trouble?" when it comes to our weight I think we may have all these emotions. After this week of eating off plan all I could think about is wearing sweat pants all the time. If I didn't have to get into my jeans I didn't have to face the music. I did get on the scale and I realized all that muscle building afforded me a little more wiggle room but I am back on task. And yes, I am wearing my jeans.
Bad news doesn't get better with time. Facing the music or the truth is the first step to making progress and changing your life. If you think you are doing great and don't need to lose weight you may not be there yet. Be honest with yourself and with the ones you love and trust. If you hide things it gets harder. Use this new year to be open and honest, starting on the right foot and learning more about yourself through honesty.
I am glad the lesson my daughter will learn wasn't expensive. No lives lost, no real damage done and honestly a mistake anyone I know including myself might make. But I did feel that shame and fear make us do some interesting things in our lives. My daughter covered up something we were all bound to find and as I reflected on the incident I think -I hide things I think no one will know about and wonder what do you hide?
Most women lie about their weight. It's a fact, well known fact and when I started the TFT program I found that some people didn't want to take the pictures you need to take when starting the program-the most difficult one being the one when you are standing on the scale. The picture is defining you know where you are and you have two choices(maybe more but these are my favorites) hide it or deal with it. I couldn't help but think of the things that went through my daughter's head before the polish was discovered- " I can hide it, no one will know." "maybe if I blame it on some one else I will get away with it." or "what do I do now? I am in big trouble?" when it comes to our weight I think we may have all these emotions. After this week of eating off plan all I could think about is wearing sweat pants all the time. If I didn't have to get into my jeans I didn't have to face the music. I did get on the scale and I realized all that muscle building afforded me a little more wiggle room but I am back on task. And yes, I am wearing my jeans.
Bad news doesn't get better with time. Facing the music or the truth is the first step to making progress and changing your life. If you think you are doing great and don't need to lose weight you may not be there yet. Be honest with yourself and with the ones you love and trust. If you hide things it gets harder. Use this new year to be open and honest, starting on the right foot and learning more about yourself through honesty.
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