A much needed break!!

I did it! I finally decided I need to take a break from competing. I really love it and I would love to do more but I have to admit it's too hard right now. I do a lot and busy is my most productive mode but I must admit I met my match. I stepped on stage in KY in February and I felt great. I did more than I have ever done, worked the hardest I have every worked and I was ready. However,I took fifth, now don't feel sorry for me I know being fifth in a competition where one phenomenal body is compared to another is not cause for tears but I wanted to do better. I wanted to really show up and represent. (holler!!) But looking back I also designed several t-shirts took 300 of them as inventory spent the day setting up, selling and talking to everyone. I was exhausted and given I have two children,a busy family and a husband who needs me (which is also a good thing) it's a wonder I was even able to do what I did!

So the self -flogging has stopped and I have settled into a somewhat "normal" life. I can't go backwards and now the trick will be ~ staying committed to the lifestyle when I won't be stepping on stage in my tiny swim suit any time soon. It's a great thing having the fear of everyone seeing you half naked to keep you honest.. but now? So the real contest begins- the one where I can let every thing be for nothing and travel over to the dark chocolate  side or stay on the fruit, nuts and berry side of good health and sharp deltoids... I must decide ~but like you I too will be given a choice that I will have to make everyday- "Is everything I did to get here going to stay?" I wish I could tell you it gets easier but honestly I think it may just be harder now. I know what to do and how to do it but will I? I hope so.. I plan to have three ways to keep myself honest-

1- Sticking to a normal food plan allowing myself one day of being less careful

2- Managing calories and activity to make sure numbers work for my budget

3- working on enjoying my life a little more participating in  the fun things I want to do and not making food the fun.

It seems simple but I think these three can be the hardest. I also plan to pull out old photos and make sure I remember how I  used to look compared to now. I almost can't believe it and I feel so much better now.

I will keep you posted. I hope you can also stick to the plan...

Train Hard .. Finish Strong!!

Out of control

I just finished my first of four competitions for this year. I have trained for the Northern Kentucky since December and have been very strict with my eating for over three months.  I was very proud of how I did ,in spite of taking fifth place, and felt I had done very well. Following the competition, I planned to give myself a guilt free week and was going to eat many of the things I had not had in many months. I started with a good steak on Saturday night and was quickly reduced to many of the crappy things I haven't eaten in months prior to this competition.  I love Oreo cookies and I have good memories associated with them. My father and I share  a love of them and would often eat them together. I decided I would have them as part of the wrap up of my "guilt free" week. This week consisted of eating things like pancakes , french fries and coffee with cream although I "deserved" the break my body suffered greatly. My system has revolted and I have not felt well. Pair that with a week filled with emotional issues of feeling out of control and I have just not felt like myself. Nonetheless, I planned to have the Oreo's and chose to go with the bite size bag and not just a big cookie package- risky move for sure to bring home over 2500 calories in a cookie I love. I bought a small bag with 850calories in it. Definitely I ate all of it- yes. scary but true, Jolene the personal trainer, competitive body builder and someone who knows better ate a bag of Oreo cookies. I must tell you however, it was not as I had hoped. I laid in pain on the floor of my gym trying to make sense of what I had done. I had the worst headache that couldn't be cured and felt sluggish. I wanted to be sick but knew that I needed to connect this feeling with food that does my body no good. I suffered for about two hours until the headache went away and swore I wouldn't do that again.

I learned a lesson with my guilt free week- there is no such thing. I also learned that now the comfort food I had relied on in the past was no longer a comfort. It dawned on me (and scared me a little) that I had elevated my feelings to a place where food could not be the cure and in fact I put myself  in a position to be vulnerable and face things head on.  I was sad, much like losing a old friend who seemed funny and toxic all at the same time, I was overwhelmed with the idea that my "normal" was not the same.

The happy ending is today I am back on a meal plan that is healthy and manageable. I allow myself a little room to move but can't do processed, chemical or destructive to my system anymore. It's taken three years to evolve to this and I am still far from perfect. I am happy however that today my body can decipher between food that harms and food that heals.

Finish Strong

Message this week

Paul Chek: Cardio vs Free Weights [ cortisol running aerobics mus...

Party Rules!!

Tomorrow is the Super Bowl and many of you may be attending parties. This can be a great time for  many of you or it can be a big disaster! When the damage is done and the day after the regret sets in, you realize the number of calories you may have taken in it won't seem like much of a party. When you are trying to be safe, lose weight and stay on a plan it can be easy to avoid a penalty in the game of weight loss. Follow these rules and you won't have to watch the replay in horror or challenge the call when your body adds the two pound mistake or worse......more than two!

1) Take food you can eat! Leaving the fate of your food in the hands of others is the first mistake. Take food to the party you can eat. Take something tasty and low in calories to share.  Educate your friends about things that are healthy and also taste good. Get on line and get some ideas from cooking sites.
2) Don't eat standing up- Not only is the behavior called "grazing" it can be a big mistake and you can consume a large number of calories in a short amount of time. Sit down and enjoy your choices, taking your time to eat and actually taste the food.
3)Count the calories- Don't "save up" calories to eat at the party-- when you are hungry you do more damage than just having a reasonable number of calories left and enjoying smaller portions. If you don't know how many calories something might have steer clear- and if you have to think hard about the calories it's best to not risk it. Remember this isn't forever there will be other parties. Just like going to the gym saying "no" takes practice and exercising good judgement is as crucial as exercising your muscles.
4) Drink lots of water- Water makes you feel full and can help you eat less. Often with these parties diet sodas trigger the need for other foods, and often times sweet rewards. Be careful!!
5) Get to know the people at the party- Some of us come home with more information about the food and ingredients than the names of the people at the party! Spend time socializing and get to know someone you haven't met before. Keeping yourself busy can keep you from the food. Eating can sometimes be a response to nerves and can be sabotage. Offer to help with dishes, run games or hand out name tags, being busy can be just what you need to avoid eating.

I hope you'll stay in between the lines and not get called out of bounds. Make this super bowl a touch down for your goals!!


Train Hard Finish Strong!
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Lower body workout